I Want A New Duck

[Intro]                                 [Verse 1] I want a new duck   one that won’t try to bite      One that won’t chew a hole in my socks   one that won’t quack all night.      I want a new duck   one with big webbed feet      One that knows how to wash my car   and keep his room   real   neat.      One that won’t raid the ice box one that’ll stay in shape One that’s never gonna try to migrate or escape          N.C. Or I’ll tie him up with duck tape. [Interlude]                 [Verse 2] I want a new duck   a mallard I   think      One that won’t make a mess of my house   or build a nest in the bathroom   sink.      I want a new duck   one that won’t steal my beer      One that won’t stick his bill in my mail   one that knows the duck stops   here.      One that won’t drive me crazy waddling all around One who’ll teach me how to swim and help me not to drown And show me how     to get   down     how to get   down baby.     Get it? [Chorus]   Quack quack quack quack   quack        Quack quack quack quack   quack   Quack quack quack   quack quack   quack quack           Quack quack   quack quack         Quack quack quack quack quack quack. [Verse 3]                                          I want new duck   not swan or goose   Just a drake I can dress real cute   think I’m gonna name him Bruce.      I want a new duck   not a quail or an owl      One that won’t molt too much   one that won’t smell too   fowl.      One that won’t beg for breadcrumbs hangin’ around all day He’d better mind his manners better do just what I say Or he’s gonna be     duck pâté   duck pâté   yah   yah.      [Chorus]   Quack quack quack quack   quack        Quack quack quack quack   quack   Quack quack quack   quack quack   quack quack           Quack quack   quack quack         Quack quack quack quack quack quack.