Xmas Has Been Xed

Intro B/------5----------------3-----------3--6-| G/---0----------------2-----------4-------| D/--------------0--------------5----------| A/3---------------------------------------| E/-----------------1----------------------| /------------------------------------------------------------| /------------------------------------------------------------| D/5555-7777-1212-1010-5555-5555-7777-1212-1010----------------| A/3333-5555-8-8-7-7---3333-3333-5555-8-8-7-7------------------| /------------------------------------------------------------| Verse It’s funny how some fables became historic When the authors clearly wrote them to be metaphoric But people will believe anything if it’s written Especially in stone or ancient scroll December 25th has been blacklisted Since Dawkins found the proof Jesus never existed It was the last thing anyone ever expected Xmas has been X’d Chorus No colored lights no shopping sprees No more presents under dead trees St. Nick is dead but we don’t grieve We celebrate the last Christmas Eve Verse Jesuits are slowly turning Dianetic Protestants increasingly become agnostic Pentecostal churches are hanging pentagrams Priests and Nuns are molesting each other Methodists and Baptists are claiming Buddhist Evangelicals surprisingly are Nudist But mostly everyone is trying to become Jew Cuz Easter’s canceled too Chorus No more egg hunts no Sunday mass Fridays are fair Wednesdays don’t ash They canceled lent and slowed down fast Enjoy Christmas cuz it’s your last No shopping sprees (don’t worry son) No more presents (we don’t need Christ) under dead trees (we got eight nights) St. Nick is dead (we got mitzvah) but we don’t grieve (they won’t cancel) We celebrate (our hanukah) the last Christmas eve