The Shit Song

When I run into friends of mine I haven’t seen in years They give me the once over then their eyes well up with tears. Then they pronounce me ’looking great’ I haven’t changed a bit I flash ’em back a feeble smile: I know I look like sh*t. ’Cos I saw myself this morning phew and I know of what I speak. I’m a human being but I look like I reek. And a weaker bathroom lightbulb just might take care of it ’Cos the mirror shatters your illusions when you look like sh*t. Sh*t comes in different colors and consistencies I guess that I’m just aging like the finest wines and cheeses. The guy that’s me who’s in my dreams is twenty-five or six I’m old enough to be his dad how’s that for parlour tricks? Life’s a job you’re fired from unless of course you quit Gee I wonder if that old blind guy knows that he looks like sh*t? Let’s ask him! ’scuse me? No over here!   Although I know it’s natural I still can’t understand. Once I looked like a million bucks now more like two grand. We start out with a lot of time but what happens to it? Times flies when you f**k around and then you look like sh*t! Oh ain’t it the truth brothers and sisters? Sh*t comes in different colors and consistencies ’Sh*t’s a gift we make’ Freud said here take mine won’t you please?’ Growing old ain’t easy it’s a process so they say. We proceed to our grand finale every single day. But dying doesn’t worry me I’m not bothered a bit I just don’t like the thought of lying there looking like sh*t!