Iwiwal

(Spoken) OK so I’m riding around in this car with this woman that I’m close to a couple times a week. And I’m noticing she’s looking out of the window and noticing other women how this one looksIsn’t her hair lovely? What a nice outfit... I said Babe what is the DEAL? You’re noticing all these other chicks... maybe... you’re a lesbian. She looks at me and she saysI wish I was a lesbian. Now at that point I wanted to say You mean ’you wish you were a lesbian’ because grammatically... But I let it slide. I didn’t wanna ruffle any feathers. But ya know that sentence that retort "I wish I was a lesbian"...kinda stuck in the ole Laud-o’s mind. kinda gestated there for seven eight minutes then this tune popped out... I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero I wouldn’t have to mess with men and all their come-and-go And all that awful facial hair and yucky "ma-chis-mo" Ooooooo I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn’t straight I would sleep with women only; man that would be great I could throw away my diaphragm; I wouldn’t wanna mate Ooooooo I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn’t straight HEY! I wish I was lesbian; I’ like to be dyke I would hang with k.d. lang; Mel Gibson take a hike I think it would be nice to love someone who was alike             Ooooooo I wish I was lesbian; I’ like to be dyke I wish I was a lesbian; that’s why this song is sung It shouldn’t have to matter how someone is hung Other things are more important...LIKE HOW TO USE YOR TOUNGE...bablblblb I wish I was a lesbian; that’s why this song is sung D            (etc... to the end) HEEEEEEY! I dare Casey Kasem to play this I wish I was a lesbian; I know it’s sad but true But maybe I might understand you guys and all you do But if I was a lesbian I WOULDN’T HAVE TO I wish I was a lesbian; I know it’s sad but true Hey I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero I wouldn’t have to mess with men and all their come-and-go And all that awful facial hair and yucky "ma-chis-mo" (I hate that damned machismo!) Ooooooo I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero   I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero!