Piddling Pete

|_ _ _ | (ad libitum) It's a story of a dog who lives out in Bell's Corner This dog want to move in in Toronto and he can swing with the city dogs They would not accept him 'cause of his lowly breed But this dog has talents. Talents he displays on every street corner, lamp, post, garden gate, kirk stone and fire hydrant in there. He was out having a great piddling contest Well a farmer's dog once came to town, by the christian name of Pete And he was a hound of high renown and his looks were hard to beat  And as he walked into the town 'twas beautiful to see His work on every corner and his mark on every tree  As he watered every gateway and he never missed a post 'Cause piddling was his masterpiece and piddling was his boast |__ |__ |d4,0 e6,0 gb6,2 Well the city dogs stood looking on with a deep and envious rage To see this simple country dog, the piddler of the age They sniffed him over one by one and they sniffed him two by two But noble Pete in high disdain stood still till they were through  And as they sniffed him over, their praise for him ran high And when one sniffed him underneath Pete piddled in his eyes |__ |__ |_ Well then just to show these city dogs that he didn't give a damn Pete strolled into the grocer's shop and he piddled on the ham     Piddled on the onions and he piddled on the floor And when the grocer kicked him out, Pete piddled on the door  Well behind him all the city dogs debated what to do They'd hold a piddling contest to show him who was who |__ |__ | Well they showed Pete all the piddling posts that they knew about the town They started out with many wink to get the poor dog down  But Pete was with them every trick with vigor and with vim For a thousand piddles more or less were all the same to him  And all along went noble Pete with hind leg kicking high While most were lifting legs in bluff or piddling mighty dry And on and on went noble Pete as he watered every sandhill And all the city champions were piddled to a standstill |__ |_d4,0 e6,0 gb6,2 Well then Pete an exhibition gave in all the ways to piddle Like double drips and fancy flips and now and then a dribble And all the time the country dog did neither wink nor grin But piddled blithely out of town as he had piddled in  Now the city dogs said, "So long Pete, you're piddling did defeat us?" But no one ever put them wise that Pete had diabetes