Titties And Beer

Titties And Beer Frank Zappa From the album Zappa In New York          It was the blackest night! There was no moon in sight! (you know the stars aint shinin Cause the skys too tight) I heard the scary wind! I seen some ugly trees! There was a werewolf honkin Long the side of me! Im mean n Im bad (yknow I aint no sissy) Got a big-titty girly by the name of chrissy Talkin about her n my bike n me... N this ride up the mountain of mystery (mystery) (how re you doin? ) I noticed even the crickets Acted weird up here And so I figured I might Just drink a little beer I said gimme summa that what yer suckin on... But there was no reply Cause she was gone! ( progression) Wheres those titties I like so well N my goddam beer! Is what I started to yell then I heard this noise Like a crunchin twig n up jumped the devil! (hes about this big!) ( progression) He had a red suit on An a widows peak An then a pointed tail N like a sulphur reek Yes it was him awright I swear I knowed it was! He had some human flesh Stuck underneath his claws You know it looked to me Like it was titty skin! I said you son-of-a-bitch! (cause I was mad at him!) He just got out his floss N started cleanin his fang So I shot him with my shooter Said: bang! bang! bang! don’t know what a powerchord is).     i.. Then the sucker just laughed n said put it away... You know I ate her all up...now what you Gonna say? You ate my chrissy? titties n all! Well what about the beer then boy? were the cans This tall? Even her boots? would I lie to you? Shit you musta been hungry! yes this is true. Well don’t they pay you good for the Stuff that you do? Well you know I can’t complain when the checks come through... Well I want my chrissy n I want my beer So you just barf it back up now devil Do you hear? Blow it out your ass motorcycle man! I mean I am the devil Do you understand? just what will you give me For your Titties and beer? I suppose you noticed this little Contract here... yer goddam right you son-of-a-whore Don’t call me that That’s about the only reason ...gimme that paper...bet yer ass I’ll sign... Cause I need a beer n it’s titty-squeezin time Man you can’t fool me...you aint that bad... I mean you shoulda seen some of the souls I had... Why there was milhous nixon n agnew too... N both of those suckers was worse n you...     Well lets make a deal if you think that’s true I mean you’re the devil so whatcha gonna do? (improvised dialog) Wait a minute...a tinge of doubt crosses my mind...when you say... That you want to make a deal with me... That’s very very true              Im only interested in two things      Yeah?                          See if you can guess what they are             I would think...uh...lets see maybe stravinsky... Ill give you two clues. let go of your pickle What? Let go of your pickle! Im not holding my pickle Well whos holding your pickle then? I don’t know...shes out in the audience... Hey dale would you like to come up here and hold My pickle to satisfy this weird man out on the stage? Im only interested in two things and that’s Titties and beer You know what I mean? What? Titties and beer Titties and beer Titties and beer Titties and beer Titties and beer Titties and beer Titties and beer! Titties and beer! I don’t know if you’re the right guy? Titties and beer! Titties and beer! No! don’t sign it! give me time to think! ...hold on a second boy cause...that’s Magic ink! (back to ) Then the devil barfed               N out jumped my girl                  They heard the titties plop-ploppin All around the world she said:                (Just keep Playing B here) I got three beers n a fist fulla downs An I’m gonna get ripped so fuck You clowns! ( progression) Then she gave us the finger! (it was rigid n stiff) That’s when the devil she farted An she went right over the cliff! The devil was mad! (I took off to my pad) I swear I do declare! How did she get back there? I swear I do declare! How did she get back there? I swear I do declare! How did she get back there? I swear I do declare! How did she get back there?