Billy The Mountain

Ebsus4 Billy The Mountain Ebsus4 Billy The Mountain N.C. A regular picturesque N.C. Postcardy mountain N.C. Residing between lovely N.C. Rosamond and Gorman N.C. With his stunning wife ETHELL A tree! A tree! N.C. BILLY was a mountain N.C. ETHELL was a tree N.C. Growing off of his shoulder N.C. BILLY was a mountain N.C. (BILLY was a mountain!) N.C. ETHELL was a tree N.C. Growing off of his shoulder N.C. (ETHELL was a tree growing off of his shoulder) N.C. (hey hey hey!) Billy had two big caves for eyes With a cliff for a jaw that would go up ’n down And whenever it did he’d puff out some dust And hack up a boulder (HACK!) Hack up a boulder (HACK! HACK!) Hack up a boulder (HACK! HACK! HACK!) Up a boulder N.C. Now one day now I believe it was on Tuesday man in checkered double-knit suit drove up in large El N.C.               Dorado Cadillac leased from BOB SPREEN... (where the freeways meet in Downey) N.C.           And he laid a HUGE BULGING ENVELOPE right at the corner of BILLY THE MOUNTAIN that was right where his ’foot’ was supposed to be. N.C. Now BILLY THE MOUNTAIN he couldn’t believe it! All those postcards he’d posed for for ALL OF THOSE YEARS N.C.                and finally now AT LAST his Royalties! N.C.           Royalties! N.C. Royalties . . . N.C.               Royalties! N.C.           Royalty check is in honey! Yes BILLY THE MOUNTAIN was RICH! Yes and his eyeball-caves they widened in amazement and his jaw (which was a cliff) well it dropped thirty feet! N.C. A bunch of dust puffed out! Rocks and boulders hacked up (hack! hack!) crushing ’The LINCOLN’! I gave him the money He acted real funny He hocked up a rock and It TOTALLED my car! Oh do you know any trucks Might be bound for THE VALLEY? I don’t wanna stand here All night in this bar (Dear Lord) I don’t wanna stand here All night in this bar (No shit!) I don’t wanna stand here All night in this bar! N.C. By two o’clock when the bars are already closed down BILLY had broken ’THE BIG NEWS’ to ETHELL. N.C.                And with dust and boulders everywhere BILLY choked with excitement announced . . . N.C.               "ETHELL we’re going on a VACATION!" N.C.           Yes and they WERE going on a vacation! (Oh and ETHELL ETHELL ETHELL like every little woman N.C. she of course was very excited! She creaked a little bit and some old birds flew off of her.) N.C. BILLY told ETHELL they were going to . . . N.C.                Yes! They were going to NEW YORK! N.C.               "ETHELL we’re going to . . . New York!" N.C.           But first they were gonna stop in LAS VEGAS . . . It’s off to LAS VEGAS to check out the lounges Pull a few handles And drink a few beers (Oh ETHELL!) ETHELL my darling you know that I love you! I’m glad we could have a Vacation this year! (Oh NEET-O!) Glad we could have a Vacation this year! F G (repeat this section) They left that night crunchin’ across the Mojave Desert . . . their voices echoing through the canyons of your minds (POO-AAH!) "ETHELL wanna get a cuppa cawfee?" (Howard Johnson’s! Howard Johnson’s! Howard Johnson’s! Howard Johnson’s!) "Ahhh! there’s a HOWARD JOHNSONS! Wanna eat some CLAMS?" The first noteworhty piece of real estate they destroyed was EDWARDS AIR FORCE BASE . . . And TO THIS VERY DAY ’Wing Nuts’ and Data Reduction Clerks alike speak in reverent whispers about that fateful night when TEST STAND #1 and THE ROCKET SLED ITSELF . . . (We have ignition!) . . . N.C.          got LUNCHED! I said LUNCHED! (Lunched!) By a FAMOUS MOUNTAIN-IN and his SMALL WOODEN WIFE.